Junk-food brands are coming for Christmas—and this ugly Cheetos sweater is proof

Photo: Frito-Lay North America. Article by Jeff Beer.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a brand-obsessed creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The Cheetos stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Coca-Cola’s St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Doritos danced in their heads;

And mamma in her Smartfood ‘kerchief, and I in my Tostitos cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap . . .

It just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?

But in the brand-soaked world in which we currently find ourselves, we now have to wrestle with November 17’s debut of Frito-Lay’s inexplicably exhaustive holiday merch shop. […]

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